What I don't understand is how come this week is taking FOREVER to be done. Other weeks, weeks I don't care about, fly by almost as if they didn't happen. I mean I swear it went from September to December in two days and now this one week is lasting for years. It's just rude.
In other news I deleted my facebook account. I found that every time I got on there it just made me feel sad, depressed and lonely. Which I don't think is the appropriate reaction but since I couldn't stop it I decided to just remove the catalyst until I feel I can handle my emotions better.
Here are things that are making me happy today:
Coffee with Peppermint Mocha creamer
My Christmas tree, which still smells delicious
Finding out that 30 Rock will be back in January
I helped Kareen in the making of the owl masks, the decorating of the cupcakes and the bashing of the pinata.
After the party I went home for a little and then went over to babysit two of my other nieces, Katelyn and Marcela. We ate pizza, colored, played screaming games in Marcela's room while she jumped on and off the bed, I assisted in bathtime, and even got in a short snuggle session with both girls.
I am very thankful to be living by my family again after all these years. Being able to babysit and help with parties is so much fun.
Just because life doesn't look the way I thought it would at this point in my life doesn't mean I don't have things to be thankful for. I'm going to make it more of a point to focus on those things in hopes that by the time Christmas rolls around this year I'll have a lot less cockles that need warming.
Today I am thankful for:
Yes, I'm thankful for my cats. I take back all those words I said about me not being a pet person and admit that I was wrong. Last weekend they were both gone at the vet all day long and it was very lonely at my house, it made me realize that having these two little kitties in my life warded off a lot of loneliness without me even realizing it.
Anyhow, I filled it out (sort of) and then started looking at the matches that were suggested for me. I realize even before I type what I'm about to type that it's going to sound mean and conceited but I'm going to say it anyway. I clicked on some of the photos of these guys and immediately wished I could undo the damage. Gah! My eyes, my EYES! I do not need to be with a model type (God knows I'm not the model type) but I would like to be with someone who sets my little heart a flutter. Come on internet, figure it out.
So then we spent a long time playing with the "little kitty" and keeping the "big kitty" away from Marcela. The "big kitty" was not impressed with the additional person running around the house so keeping him away from her was in everyone's best interest.
At around 8:15 Marcela announced that it was bedtime, so we went to my room read some books and then cuddled up. My plan was to just cuddle with her until she fell asleep and then go back out into the living room and do some things like watch t.v., play on the internet, or read. What actually happened though was that I fell asleep and I have my suspicions that I was asleep before she was.
Marcela is coming over again tonight to spend the night and I'm so excited, she's so cute and sweet. I love getting to have her spend the night, being an aunt is fun.
If you're reading this blog you probably already know of my extreme dislike for people who use "your" instead of "you're" or "their" instead of "they're". Are contractions really that difficult? Do people really not care that the sentence they're putting together makes no sense if they something like this: "I hope your coming to the party their going to have snacks and live music." Just think about that sentence for a minute...try to make it make sense with the spellings that are in there. I bet you can't do it.
I have to make a confession. My ex used "your" instead of "you're" in texts often. I silently judged him, but I should've broken up with him the very first time he did it. Standards people, you've got to have standards.
Why should I regret eating a cookie? I never regret eating cookies, I never regret eating two or three cookies. You know what I do regret? Running, I regret running. Every. Single. Time. It leaves me feeling broken and much older than I actually am for days afterwards. I think it's the wrong sort of message to send as a form of motivation. You shouldn't have to deny yourself things you really love, that is no way to live life.
The quote that drives me the most crazy though is this one:
People who think that this is true is clearly not eating the right types of food. And if you're denying yourself all the food you really love and enjoy eating then being skinny won't be enjoyable at all.
Why is the motivations circulating out there all about denying yourself the foods you love? It drives me absolutely insane, just eat the things you love to eat (in moderation) and get up and move more than you have in the past. I will never be a size 4, and I am happy with that because I enjoy eating and I enjoy life and stressing out all the time about spending enough time in the gym working out isn't worth it to me.
I realize that I could avoid these quotes that make me want to punch the computer by not browsing on pinterest, but that isn't going to be possible so I'm just going to vent and then try to get over it.
That's not what I want to write about, well not only that. Let me explain to you first that my little house sits on a little plot of land, but the yard is clearly marked off with a wood fence and there are not any miscellaneous items in it, nothing that could be mistaken for yard sale items. Unless someone wants to buy my struggling rose bushes. My aunt's house next door (which used to be my grandma and grandpa's house) has a very large yard which is also marked off by a wooden fence. In between our two yards is a fairly wide gravel driveway. Is anyone confused yet as to which yard has the garbage yard sale stuff in it? No? Well then good for you, you are clearly smarter than the average idiot.
About twice a week for the past couple weeks people have pulled into the gravel driveway between the houses and when deciding which house to walk to in order to inquire about the really awesome stuff in the yard they somehow choose mine. Think about that for a second....there is a house sitting on the plot of land with all the goodness and yet these geniuses decide to go to the house with it's very own, very clean yard. When they come to the door and I have to tell them the obvious, that the stuff belongs to the house over there, they always look at me with a blank stare as if I've said something confusing.
That's not the end of it though. I've spent a little bit of time on my front porch and I had to stop because every single time I sat out there someone would stop and ask about "my" stuff in the yard. Do you want to know what I say to those people? "That stuff belongs to the house over there, that's not my yard." And then I berate them in my head for being such big idiots.
Some people are annoying.
The back-story:: I have been going to dance camps for the past eighteen years (yikes!), some of those times as a camper, others as a coach, and many many more times as an instructor. I have been to hundreds of dance camps, seems like an exaggeration but...it is not and this past week at camp at the University of Puget Sound with Hanford High School I had hands-down best experience ever.
The set-up::Along with dancers and cheerleaders at this camp there was also a Mormon camp (Especially for Youth) going on at the same time. We all had the same meal times which was crowded and meant for long lines.
The story::Last night at dinner we were sitting down already with our food when EFY started coming in. Because the lines were so long some of those kids sat down at the piano in the main dining area and started playing. One boy in particular was really good,, he sat there for a while playing beautiful music, then he played something that he was singing to but no one else could hear what it was. When he finished playing that song I turned to the head coach and dancers and said “If this were a musical everyone would’ve started singing along and everyone would’ve gotten up and danced. I wish my life were a musical.” Approximately 5 seconds later I hear the opening notes to “Don’t stop believing”.... and do you know what happened?
That’s right. Everyone- cheerleaders, dancers, EFY kids, coaches, everyone all across the dining room started singing along and clapping. There wasn’t any dancing (probably because there wasn’t room and unlike musicals real people don’t dance on tables) but the spontaneous singing was enough for me. That moment will be one of my favorite moments in life.
I shrink from the water, in the instant
it hits me I cringe. A mini barrage
of liquid blades hit my skin, an ailment-
inconvenient pain, no soothing massage
for me. Now, cleanliness is a debate
I often choose to lose. Shying away
from ugly black clouds. Stuck as an inmate
in corners and rooms-as others sashay
in and out of view unaware of my
stare. Umbrella-less pedestrians in-
spire jealousy. A sudden splash-my
instant demise, I shriek-the final pin.
An existence plagued by irritation
perhaps I’ll return, a soul twice bitten.