Let's fly away

I ran into a quote today on the internet, and I loved it too much to keep it to myself especially because I know so many people who would also love it.

"Reading makes immigrants of us all. It takes us away from home, but more important, it finds homes for us everywhere."    - Jean Rhys

It pretty much sums up everything I love about books and find so difficult to explain. I have found so many homes in between the covers of a book. I've been all around the world, I've even been to places that don't exist and each of those places and the people I met along the way have felt like home to me, like friends. Friends that are just waiting for me to pick them up again and get carried away whenever I need them. I think that's why I can't bear to get rid of any of my books, at one point or another they each helped me, whisked me away and if I ever need them again I know they'll be there for me.

Doing it Wrong

I've mentioned before my interest/obsession with Pinterest, but lately I haven't been going there as much due to my frustration with people doing it wrong. In case you don't know what this site is supposed to be about here's a quick rundown...let's say you're browsing around on the internet and you see something you really like, wanting to remember it for later you "pin" it to a board on pinterest. You can also browse around on pinterest and see things that other people pinned thus expanding your own inspiration. Now, here is what people have started doing that is pissing me off...uploading pictures of themselves and their family/pets/clothes. If you already own the pictures on your computer why do you need to post them to pinterest in order to remember them for later? Fact is, you don't. I'm not sure why people have started doing this, it's almost like they got Facebook and Pinterest mixed up, all I know is that it's super annoying and I wish people would stop it already!

Oh also, I got bit by a dog yesterday. I was walking to my parents house for dinner, listening to a podcast (at a reasonable volume), minding my own business when suddenly out of nowhere I felt a sharp pain on my ankle. I look down and there's a little dog not barking or anything, he looked at me after biting me for no reason and then just ran off. I should say that I checked out my ankle to make sure everything was okay before walking on...the bite hadn't gone through my jeans or broken my skin so I kept going. But it left me feeling like also that dog did it wrong...isn't there supposed to be some sort of warning bark, a "hey, I'm pissed that you're walking this close to my property move it on out in a hurry" or something? But nope, nothing before or after just a weird feeling that I couldn't believe that had actually just happened.



Sometimes I start crying for no reason and then suddenly I go from crying over something silly (like Oprah's speech at the Oscars, which is what set me off tonight) to all the things I keep built up under the surface. It's difficult for me to stop crying once I start so it's just better if I don't start in the first place but often the tears sneak up on me from out of no where. I'll be minding my own business and then BLAM! tears streaming down my face.
People tell me I'm strong, and I guess I have to say that I agree, I am. But not because I want to be, I wish I didn't have to be. I try every day to be a little stronger, a little happier, a little less broken. Some days are better than others and some days are just plain mean but I still hope for the future, a future where the good and wonderful days far out number the mean ones.



Sometimes I want to write but without an assignment or some parameters the possible options just taunt me and my indecision. I usually stare at a blank screen for a while and then admit defeat after typing a sentence or two. But I like writing, I like trying new things, so I've decided to give myself some assignments. I have a few books that have writing prompts in them, every once in a while I'm going to pick one and write it out on here. Like a little workshop for myself that hopefully anyone reading this can do along with me. Writing with friends is fun!

First assignment: Begin a poem with the words "I don't know..."

I don't know so many things
there's no good place to start,
the things I do not know could fill a book
(or two)
and still be volumes short.
Maybe you could help me?
Are there things that you might know?
Like how to heal a broken heart,
or to run and keep on running.
I think that I should tell you
before you get the wrong idea
I don't care to learn just anything
so please don't try to tell me 
how to fish or ride the waves
it would all be wasted breath.
I don't know so many things
and I wish I knew one less,



Wah wah

So, I went on some dates. And I thought they were really great, I mean honestly how could they not be? I am awesome. I tell myself I'm awesome every day and I truly believe I'm not just making this shit up. You can tell me if I'm wrong but....
-I'm cute, and sometimes even pretty or sexy
-I'm funny, I've had more than one person confirm they think I'm funny so I feel justified in this point
-I can walk in heels, and if you don't think that's a talent...well...you're wrong
-I'm smart, for instance 2+2=4 (and I didn't have to use my phone calculator for that)
-I dance.

Need I go on? I think the examples given adequately show that I am indeed a catch, and although I maybe shouldn't call myself a catch I feel justified. So how come out of the three guys I went on dates with two of them disappeared off the face of the earth? The third? Well the third went off the deep end. And without going into too much detail here is what happened:
He started texting about: kissing, valentines, babies, marriage...before we'd even held hands and I didn't know how to reign that kind of crazy in so it had to end. It had to end.
I'm still waiting cupid.... you have horrific aim.


So...this happened

Within two minutes of walking in the door to family dinner last Sunday my Papa asked me what my shirt said (it was a dance team shirt that was loud and had a lot of writing on it). I told him "it's a message about Dancers Against Drunk Driving my dance team is working on"....
At this point he cut me off by saying "oh I thought maybe it was about supporting gay marriage or something..."
You may not have met my Papa before but let me just tell you it's impossible to disagree with that man. I mean seriously he is the definition of a cute old man and I dare you to meet him and say anything that might break his heart. So there was no way I was going to look him in the eyes (with my own mom and dad standing within hitting distance) and say "well actually I DO support gay marriage." So instead I stared awkwardly out the window, noticed that more family had shown up so moved to the door to greet them.

And then when it came time to actually sit down for dinner this other thing happened....
My mom asked sister Rachel what she'd been up to lately cause it seemed like they hadn't seen her lately. And, before she could answer my youngest brother Adam chirped up with this response: "drinking wine"
Oh! I about lost it! Hahaha my Mom, the queen of being Mormon, asks her daughter what she has been doing lately and her own son answers with "drinking wine"...Somehow I think I'm the only one who caught this and I could not be happier about it.


Special Skills: Judging People

Have you ever met someone that other people rave and obsess over and then afterwards wonder..."what was all that hype about?" I have. And the most annoying, frustrating part of the whole ordeal is that I have no one to talk to about it because everyone I know who also knows that person is caught up in a giant love fest. So I'm left to have conversations with myself (which in itself isn't abnormal for me) about how I just don't get it...what's the big deal...did i miss a memo...or did I just not drink the special punch along with everyone else?

I'm a nice person. I am. And I'm not just saying that to try to make friends. Usually when I meet people I like them, they like me, we move forward with life mutually in like. I also feel like I'm generally a good judge of character, I'm not a mind reader or anything and I'm not able to read people's auras (although, how cool would that be?), I just usually can get a good feel for people. And mostly I'm right. Not to sound all braggy or anything...it's just I've had a lot of practice of the years honing my "skills".

In a completely unrelated note: Elliot (the boy cat) loves eating popcorn...so I make some (read: an entire bowl) for myself and then throw the kernels out to him that haven't been fully flavored so I therefore have no use for. It's nice to share popcorn. Yep, I just said that. Share popcorn with a cat. It's official, I'm a crazy cat lady...please don't tell.


Stay with Me...

So far I've been on four dates and I don't think I've done anything too embarrassing. I did come close to tears at one point but the tears stayed in my eyes so I think I saved it. At one point the phrase "willy nilly" came out of my mouth, I played it off I'm fairly certain. I mentioned my deep desire to be magic more than once but I'm pretty sure that's charming and cute. I made awkward eye-contact, gave hugs that lasted too long yet otherwise stayed strictly within my own personal space. I have lost my swagger. I'm not sure I ever had it but I'm pretty sure I did for a while and somewhere along the way I killed it. Shockingly it doesn't seem to matter. Which means there will be more dates in the future and even more weird awkwardness.

Do you know in high school I made out with all the boys I possibly could make out with? (Oh, I shared that charming tid-bit on a date. Probably best if you don't ask how that came up.) If the boy showed an interest in me, I would make out with them sometimes for hours at a time. Fully clothed, no funny business (ok, sometimes pg-13 rated funny business) making out. I guess it's not shocking that I'm not the girl I used to be in high school (thankfully) but I do miss a good make-out session.