Stay Tuned

Last Sunday I started match.com, for real not just a tester profile. I took over my sister Rachel's. She realized it wasn't for her but had already paid for it, so we changed all the information and because I'd had a couple of glasses of champagne by the time we finished I started "winking" at boys left and right. Then I started getting and responding to messages. And then, then you guys, I started texting. Then do you know what happened? Well do you? I made plans to meet boys. And woooeeee it was fun. Until today. Today I realized these things are actually going to happen. I am going to go meet a new boy/man/guy (whatever you want to call 'em). After 3 years of really not looking I am going to go out with someone new. I am having a lot of anxiety. A lot of it. My heart is racing and I feel like I may puke. How is this going to get any better the closer and closer I get? The answer is, it's not. I'm going to go out on a date and I'm going to be a HOT MESS, on the inside anyways. (I intend to get my outsides looking hot without the mess part added on top.) I'm afraid for the things that might come spilling out of my mouth when I'm all twisted up like this. On the bright side it should make for some good stories.


Anticipated Buyers Remorse

Lately I've tried buying things online, things like shoes, shirts, tights, earrings. From inexpensive places like Forever21 or gojane so the cost of what I want to own is never very high.
I've never ordered items for my body off of the internet before. I've bought books, kitchen supplies and tickets many times over but never something I would put on my actual body and need it to have a fit I like. Books always fit, I mean I may have a difficult time finding a spot for them on my bookshelf when I'm finished reading but I always manage.
The problem with ordering clothes or shoes is that I know that if I get them in the mail and something doesn't fit I will never return it. The item will sit all sad and dejected in the corner of my closet for the rest of forever because I also don't get rid of things. I can't get rid of things because what if someday I need exactly what I'm getting rid of and I think "dang, I wish I still had _________, I was a fool to get rid of it." I do not like being a fool, hence the keeping of all the things.
One time I forced my sister Rachel to play the Toss It game (taught to me by Rachael who is an expert tosser) with me and the look she gave me when I held up some of the things I'd been holding on to was enough to shame me into getting rid of bags and bags full of forgotten treasures.
Anyway, my point being I know if I order something and it comes into my house it's going to be here indefinitely so it'd better be something really good. Yesterday I got all the way to the checkout page, had my debit card out and was just about ready to put in the information which would have enabled F21 to send me some very cute purple tights, some new earrings (new earrings make even old clothes seem new again), and a cute fancy blouse (I need more of those, I have like 2)but I chickened out and shut it down. Usually I'm very good at talking myself into things but for some reason I just can't get myself through the checkout process and until I can my fashion will be stuck right where it is...old and boring.


Something exciting that might actually be lame...

My aunt is moving out of my Grandma's house, the house my Grandpa built, and in the process is finding homes for all of their things that have been living there forever and ever. Today I found out I get to inherit my Grandma's sewing machine AND the desk that my Grandpa made to house not only the sewing machine but also all the accouterments in the drawers: thread, buttons, zippers, elastic, lace, snaps...you name it it's probably in one of that magic drawers. Should I be this excited to get a sewing machine? Whatever, I'm totally excited.



In my quest to become a skinnier version of myself I've done a few things to help the process. No brainer things that I swear I've tried before but without success. Things like: eating healthier, smaller meals and upping the amount I move and work out. Calories in - Calories Out= weight loss. Easy, peasy. Everyone knows that. So, why hasn't it worked for me in the past? No clue. All I know is that I can happily report that it's working for me now. I've lost (and hope to never find) 5lbs so far. Whoop Whoop!

One of the things that makes it difficult for me to follow a healthy, low fat, lower calorie diet is that when I'm hungry I would like to have food in my mouth IMMEDIATELY! I don't want a meal to take me longer than 5 minutes from start to finish to put together, mostly because it's not going to take me that long to eat it and spending more time preparing than eating (especially when it's just for me) just seems wrong some how. Also something that is tricky is finding recipes, even for the crock-pot, that have a short list of ingredients. I stop looking at it if the list is over 5 things. I've been given a suggestion to post my "non-recipes" that I create for the crock-pot...and if they are delicious I think I'll do just that.

The other thing that gets in my way is my lack of ability to commit to a workout "routine". I get bored and it's very easy for me to talk myself out of, especially if it's going to take me 10min or more. So, what I've done instead is this: I keep my set of hand weights in the living room and I do little workouts throughout the day. When I take a break from reading to go to the bathroom I come back and do some push-ups and squats. When I'm getting ready I take a break and do some sit-ups and side reaches. You get the picture. That way I'm still fitting in some fitness but it's not all at once, in fact some days it adds up to more than I would've done in one 20 minute video session. It's my non-workout way to workout.



This weekend is the first competition for the team I've been helping with. I get so nervous before they perform it's pretty ridiculous since I'm not even dancing. I think it's because I know how hard they've worked and I just want everyone else to see it as well and I want them to feel accomplished and proud of themselves and each other.

Yesterday I woke up super early and got my tired butt out to the High School to support them as they danced for a news story on NBC. I'm super proud to be a part of this team. Below is the link to their story.

Dancers Against Drunk Driving


Bibbity Bobbity Boo

I think part of the reason I'm so often disappointed with my life is because it's full of real things. It's suspiciously lacking in things like: magical objects/people/creatures. And I don't want to hear any crap like: "there's magic all around if you look for it" because no there's not. Not the kind I want anyway; Harry Potter magic, Fairy magic, wizards, witches, dragons, spells and houses that clean themselves.



Usually I am against making new years resolutions because I feel like it's just asking to feel like a failure in only a matter of time. But this year I made one, just one. Along with the most amazing Rachael I am going to (attempt to) meditate three times a week. I say attempt because so far I've had a very difficult time staying in the moment, my mind is a wanderer and I don't realize what it's doing until I'm three or four thoughts deep and I have to pull myself back to the moment. But I'm going to stick with it because when I can achieve it for even a few minutes it helps me feel peaceful which I definitely need more of.

Something that is NOT a resolution, but I'm excited about, is the competition started with my sisters. We are competing to see who can loose the most weight by our brother Ken's wedding at the end of May. The winner will also be the proud owner of a new swim-suit bought by the other sisters (none of whom will be "losers" since we will all have lost weight). I started this journey at an even 140.0 pounds and really would love to finish it in the 120's even if it's 129.9.