11/8/08

Can I live in my dreams instead?

In a dream last night I was getting married, and I remember thinking "wow, I guess people were right, it did happen when least expected." Dream Jill was not bitter one little bit (probably cause she was getting married) but I'm hoping that if my subconscious dream self hasn't turned bitter then there still hope to turn the rest of me around.
I think I have a ways to go yet since when a commercial on tv said "Love Rocks" my first thought in my head was "Love fucking sucks." 
Which I can't even say I totally believe, I don't think love sucks...for other people. I just think it sucks for me, and that, sucks.

11/6/08

Day 1

I've been boy crazy for ever, and up until now it's been mostly fun. I mean it's had the ups and downs but over all boys have really made my life fun and given me a reason to dress up every morning. But, something changed and so I've decided that I should put myself through a little boy detox. I'm telling the world wide web because I also apparently need to be held accountable for this by someone other than myself because I am no good at it.

I need to clear my head of the clutter and I think the only way to do that is to remove the things that are causing me confusion. I'm hoping that this process is like regular detox and can happen in like 21 days but it might take more time than that since I've been addicted to boys for so many years now.