Tricking myself into chores.

Today I need to clean my house. Not just a little bit..a lot. But I get bored with this task very easily. Therefore I have create "rewards" for myself. Like: if you clean for twenty minutes straight then you can take an internet break or if you get all your dishes washed and put away you can take a dance break. Bigger chores have bigger rewards. Cleaning/vacuuming my mattress gives me permission to buy a fancy smelling candle when I go to the store later. I need these rewards otherwise I would easily give up mid-way through a chore and my house would never be clean. I like leaving in a clean house, I hate cleaning it. Probably if I were magic I would not hate chores as much because it would be fun to say spells and have my things clean themselves. However, I have been wishing to magic for many many years now and so far I haven't seen the slightest hint that my wish is going to be granted. Being a muggle is boring.
So far I have earned:
This computer break
A smelly-good candle
Two dance breaks
Wine or Vodka
Kitty play break
My house is getting there and I need to go to the store before it starts raining. During my walk I am going to finish listening to the ghost stories for this week's pod club. I have thoughts and stories of my own to share but in the meantime let me just say this: I don't think that guy is very good at reading stories. Sorry dude, I know it's your job but you need to be better at it.

Do any of you give yourself rewards for doing chores? Or am I alone in this too?

Pod Club: Anything Ghost

I'm a little scared of this week's pick for pod club (even though I picked it) and am going to make sure I listen to it only during daylight hours far from the time I go to bed. It's Halloween themed, all about ghost stories...

Anything Ghost Show 

As always it's also free on i-Tunes. 

That kind of friend...

Dear Diary,
Today my friend broke up with the guy I like. So I asked him out. He said he didn't want to go out with anyone right now. So I'm going to ask him out some other time. 
I went Sunshine Generation today. It was a lot of fun. But there are three dumb kids in the class. 
Bye for now, write more tomorrow.
See ya,
Jill

Sometime in between 1/22/91 and 2/2/91

Did I even realize that I'd been brushed off? I really don't think so. Poor, sweet, innocent younger Jill...not even knowing (or caring) when she'd been rejected. I wonder if anyone reading this has watched the show "The Middle" because I keep feeling as if my diary entries could have been written by Sue Heck.

Am I the only one?

Often I wonder if what goes on in my head also goes on in other people's heads...today I'm going to tell you about one of those things and either it's going to make you think "that is really weird" or "phew, I'm not the only one."

When I walk I listen to music.While I walk and listen to music I create music videos in my head. I imagine the filters, the camera angles, the wind in my hair, imaginary back-up dancers...the whole bit. The only embarrassing part is when I turn a corner or whip my head for a dramatic angle change and there happen to be people there. That sudden happenstance occurred multiple times today and I did my best to pretend as if nothing strange was going on but I think they all knew better; especially since I was singing out loud most of the time. You might think I would be shamed into stopping but nope, I have hundreds of music videos at this point and I only wish I could share them with you. I can at least share with you the songs I mastered today:

(I'm not putting the ACTUAL  music videos on here because I don't want you to get tainted if you want to create your own music video to the song someday.)

Anything Could Happen - Ellie Goulding

Want You Back - Cher Lloyd

All My Friends - Lindi Ortega

Awesome Impostor

What kind of things do we "get away" with on a daily basis? Little things, big things, things in between...it doesn't matter all of us have lied/fibbed/tricked our ways into (or out of) situations. I can't say that I personally have done anything as large scale as any of the features on this weeks pod club pick but it did make me think of all the little ways over my life I've gotten away with something. And also the feelings that go along with it. Sometimes being able to pull something off feels amazing - like back in high school when I was supposed to be grounded until after the New Year but got to have a friend spend the night over Christmas break BEFORE new years eve. We felt like rock stars - even though, now that I'm older and can look back I'm sure my parents knew what they were doing and decided I'd been grounded long enough (since August) and had listened to enough of my whining and complaining. At the time though I really felt like I'd pulled one over on my parents and it was AWESOME! Or when I was a poor college student and would buy One student ticket for a movie but sneak into two or three - Extra movies for the price of One? Fantastic feeling! Or how about getting hired to be a choreographer for a show choir when I've never done anything like that before but faking my way through and realizing I pulled it off? Feels freakin' brilliant!
But, I think there can be another feeling that can come after you make it through a situation unscathed, a feeling of being an impostor. I can recall feeling that way a few times, like when getting a paper back with an "A" on top after just throwing it together last minute, or like when I tried out for Boise State's dance team out of peer pressure and then made it...I felt like an impostor for a year and half basically or in a really bad example when I used "translate" while writing french papers...definitely an impostor french writer here.

I've gotten away with a lot of little things over the years, some in-between things, and maybe I have some big things to get away with left in my future...

Pod Club: Getting Away With It

When I first started listening to podcasts This American Life was one of the first that I subscribed to, I went back into the archives and listened to hours and hours of Ira Glass introducing story after story. So I'm happy that we have picked the newest episode to listen to and discuss for pod club this week.

Getting Away With It

Stories of people breaking the rules fully, completely and with no bad consequences. Some justify this by saying they're doing it for others, or for a greater good, some. Some really don't care. And, unlike the mealy weaklings you usually hear on this program: None of these wrongdoers seem regretful about what they've done in the slightest.

Are you intrigued? I am. Let's go listen...

You need plays

Dear Diary, 
Today was Saturday 5, 1991. Today I woke up and made pankaces it very fun. Then we cleaned the downstairs, and we had to clean our rooms. Then nothing happened until 4:05 when Chauntel got to come over. I forgot I had a game today at 10:10 but I tell you about it now we played the other Highlands team. They won 23-4! Me and Holly are the only good ones on the team! Our coach is such an airhead! I don't think he knows that to Basketball you need plays! He's so stupid. I HATE him so much. 
See ya,
Jill

Oh boy, I was one of the only good ones on the team? Well then it's no wonder we lost by such a wide margin. In fact it's a wonder we scored at all, that must have been all Holly since we can all assume the coach had nothing to do with it because he was clearly an airhead.

Fear Thy Nature

Do you ever find yourself behaving or reacting differently based on the people you are around, the situation you are in, or what is expected of you? I know that I, for one, do it all the time. I think it's only natural and almost impossible not to. I couldn't act the same way around the kids I teach dance to as I do around my friends, for example, it would be inappropriate and I probably wouldn't have my job for very long. I also wouldn't act the same way I do at someone else's house as I do at my own, environments dictate what is or isn't acceptable behavior. Our own personal awareness of these changes isn't always necessary, we seem to just know how to behave in any given situation, we've learned over the years what should be done, what shouldn't be done and how to tell the difference. Society gives us rules and we follow them but I don't think it's a bad thing, social rules and cues are necessary and good for everyone.
I am not really going to be touching on the subject of Speak No More, as it is I think almost too much has been said in the podcast from this week about what happens in that production. It's something I first heard about from New York BFF and still have a desire to go see, although I do wish I still knew almost nothing about it. What I want to touch on from that portion of the discussion is the idea that everyone is given "rules" to follow once they enter, some people follow and some do not. I would be a follower of the rules. It makes me very uncomfortable as a grown-up person to knowingly break rules that are given to me. Back in my teenage years I loved breaking rules just to see if I could get away with it...but maybe the stakes are raised now on what will happen if I am caught breaking a rule and I just can't do it. So, I know, I would follow those rules to the letter and I would be very anxious that anyone I was with did exactly the same.
But, this same quality in myself also gives me some concern when it came to the portion of the podcast where they were talking about the experiments that were conducted testing to see how far someone would go when given a role to play. I didn't take note of the person talking saying they didn't believe in experiments like Zimbardo's Stanford Prison Experiment, but I found him to be quite contradictory of himself. He says he doesn't believe that that is human nature to treat people like this and to jump to those extremes but he also says that he believes people will act in one way in a psychological experiment and in another way in an experiment conducted by an economist based on what the subject thinks the person giving the experiment wants. If the prison guards in Zimbardo's experiment believed they were to act out a prison scene and Zimbardo was looking for extremes in human behavior than I think that's probably what those people did, but that is human nature. I don't believe they were TOLD to be cruel, they chose to be cruel because they felt, perhaps, that the person in authority was looking for that. However if the person in authority, the one conducting the experiment was a pacifist then the experiment would have probably turned out much differently. But, I think this only goes to show how much people depend on cues from those around them...are you being told to stop? no, then keep going...are you being rewarded for your behavior? no, then try something new, more extreme...etc.

I guess here is what it comes down to for me, and it's a very serious subject so it's difficult for me to find words to properly express myself so I'm just doing the best I can. Part of my heritage is of German descent. What if I was someone else in my timeline and I grew up in Germany where my leaders were telling me that it was against the law to aid Jews, that it was actually lawful to turn them in...what would I have done? Would that have made me a fundamentally bad person? Do I believe that all of those German soldiers who helped in rounding up those innocent people and then helped in running concentration camps and then who did unspeakable things to people were inherently evil? I don't believe that, I think that a lot of them were following their leader, doing what they were told, not thinking about what that meant - does that excuse their actions, not to me but it does help me understand how they could have gotten there. And it makes me wonder, it makes me wonder about my affinity for following the rules and it makes me hope that I will have some fight in me if suddenly the rules stop making sense.

Did you listen this week? What were your reactions? Are you a rule follower or do you find joy in breaking the rules given? I'd love to know...and then I'd love for you to join me in finding out what fellow pod club listeners Rachael and Leah had to say on the subject.

Good Idea?

I'm thinking about carrying around a sign that says this or wearing it right on my shirt. I need more hugging in my life. A long time ago I learned about the benefits of giving/receiving hugs and I think I took for granted all the hugs I used to get when I was living in Portland.
Did you know:
We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir, Family Therapist

Anyone want to come here and hug me? I'm not even making the "survival" minimum right now, unless you count cats and I don't think you can since they don't actually hug me back.

Good for 33

Here's a little story for you, let me set it up: I was about a block away from the studio, wearing 12 year old black jazz pants (nope I'm not exaggerating), a long striped shirt, and a grey cardigan. Headphones in - finishing up choreography for classes. I was getting ready to cross the street when I noticed a guy jump out of a car that had just turned in front of me and started walking towards me. I was thinking he was going to ask me for directions or a light for a cigarette (those are the requests I get most often) but instead this happened:

Boy: Can I get your number
I stopped, in the middle of the street, and stared up at him (he was quite tall) sort of in shock because that was not what I was expecting. Then quickly I tried to figure out how I was going to let this nice boy down without being mean or having to hurt anyone's feelings. Then I realize...
Me: (with a smile) How old are you?
Boy: Twenty
Me: I'm thirty three, I might be a little old for you.
Boy: Really?
Me: Yep, but thank you for the compliment!
Boy: (as he's walking away) You look really good for 33.
Me: Thanks!

I have to say this short interaction made my day, probably my week, and maybe even next week as well.

Pod Club: Fear Thy Nature

Sorry for the late posting today but better late than never right? You still have plenty of time to join in for the week. The podcast picked for this week is from a few weeks ago and is only slightly over a half hour. If you've been waiting for a shorter to podcast to join in with, here it is.

Fear Thy Nature

The episode is about how profoundly human behavior is influenced not only by our inner bearing but by our outer circumstances.

I promise this is worth a listen and I bet it also causes you to have some thoughts about your actions. 

This past week our pod club expanded by one to include Rachael's sister Leah. Please go read what she had to say about last week's podcast and stay tuned to read both their insights later in the week. As always I encourage you to play along and then write somewhere (here in a comment, on your very own blog, on someone else's blog...) what you're thinking feeling about what we listen to.

Special Double Issue

Dear Diary, 
Today is January 3, 1991. Today I went to Sunshine Generation a singing and dancing group. And some girls in a group higher were acting like totall renobs! When they had to learn a move they'd just stand there laughing. They think a Finale song is stupid beause it has cartoon songs in it! I think they're the stupid ones! They aren't that much older than me anyway! I'm so MAD! They get so stuck up because they get to do Voge! I'm so shure! 
My family was nice to me today I'm glad. 
Bye!                                                   See ya
                                                            Jill

Dear Diary, 
January 4, 1991 and everythings going great. I hope that my sister would get home from babysitting though shes been gon since 6:30 now it's 10:00! My younger sister is staying the night at a friends. I couldn't have any one over though! I don't think that was fair. It was very boring here tonight because all I did was wathce T.V. all night. I hope she comes home soon!
My friends are so nice at school and they're trying to get me together with Jermey Moore the guy I like. Talk Later
see ya
Bye
Jill

I think these two entries can stand on their own without much commentary from me - other than...seriously Dickman!? What was going on with some of your spelling back then?

The mind is a powerful thing

I'm going to be very honest and tell you that I didn't have a strong initial emotional or mental response to this week's pod-club pick so I'm finding it a little difficult to find a jumping off point. So, I'm just going to start typing and hope that along the way I find the things I want to say. Maybe I was hoping to hear in the podcast exactly how I could go about creating an environment that would promote healing and well-being but how would that be possible? That has to be different for everyone right? I'm sure there are probably overlaps, like I've never met anyone who says they feel stressed out when they're standing outside in the sunshine listening to the birds chirp, but there are also a lot of variables. What would an environment that feels peaceful and healing look like to you?
I like being in places that feel comfortable - big couches, blankets (yes even in the summer.)
I like natural light in the daytime and I like candle light at night. I don't like overhead lights at all and avoid turning them on at all costs.
I like the smells of fresh cut grass, fresh brewed coffee, clean laundry (even though doing the laundry is definitely not on the list of what brings me wellness), red current.
I like when my cats curl up on or near me, I will stop whatever I'm doing to relish their attention and tiny little purrs.
I like being in the mountains, by the ocean, on a river, near a campfire, walking in the snow...it all brings me peace and makes me remember there is more to beauty than words can say or pictures can capture.
I think I've done a good job in my own personal space creating an environment that brings me peace, I am surrounded by my books, pictures of my family and lots of cozy places to sit with pillows and blankets.

I don't find myself stressed out too often but when I am I turn to music and deep breathing, with the mantra "it'll all be okay in the end" running on a loop in my head. This works for me. I think I've mentioned before that music has a hold on me and my emotions and in this case it's a good thing because I know exactly what will work to get calmed back down.

If our surroundings: what we see, what we hear, what we smell can have such a positive affect on our mental well-being then it seems only logical that places where people go to be healed are taking more care in creating healing environments. Rooms that have views, nice smells, a less clinical feeling environment makes sense in terms of the well being of a patient.
The power of our minds is outstanding and if we deprive our senses of what they need to feel stimulated and active then it's no wonder that bodies would follow suite. People who stay too long in the office, are constantly running around from one place to another with no time to pause, those who feel like sitting down and taking some time off is lazy - don't those people wind up looking worn down, haggard, depleted? In my life, anytime I have been in situations where my only option is to plow full speed ahead for weeks on end I know that at the end of it I am going to be sick. Like clockwork at the end of a crazy, hectic time in my life (I'm talking more than just a few days in a row) my body shuts down. It's as if it's telling me Ok, that's enough you need to stop for a minute and take care of me. Sit on the couch and do the things you love. Read, write, listen to music. I am forced to recharge my batteries when I don't take the time to do it myself. It's one of the reasons I never ever feel guilty for doing the things I do or taking all the time to myself I feel I need.

I don't do yoga, I don't meditate, and I'm not religious. But over the years I've found ways that I believe have the same affects on me and my mental well-being. Dance is one of those things. Writing is another. I've tried meditating a few times and I haven't given up on the idea for myself, I'm going to keep trying to find the healing benefits that I believe are hidden in the act because I want to. I give myself permission to do it, or not do, without any pressure on being "good" at it right away.
One thing I realized I want to do sometime in my life is walk a labyrinth. When that word was first mentioned in the podcast my first image was, of course, David Bowie. And you can not tell me that it's

not at least a little terrifying and causes you to feel some anxiety. I have not seen that movie in a very long time, I remembered really liking it but also that it stressed me out and maybe caused me to hide under a blanket or behind a pillow a couple of times. Which, believe it or not - is the exact opposite feeling one is supposed to experience when entering a labyrinth. All these years I've been associating that word with the wrong sorts of ideas and feelings. I was more than happy to discover that in the real world it should be a peaceful experience, sort of like a walking
meditation. I think I could possibly succeed at that sort of meditating since I do walking all the time. Especially if I was walking in a place as beautiful as this:

I want to go to there. Or somewhere like there. And I would even leave my music at home. I've just realized, right now this very minute, that I should take myself on walks without music here in my real life. I shouldn't wait for a future someday when I visit a labyrinth, I should find some time to leave my music at home and just walk. I'm going to try to do so in the next week and I'll report back about my success (hopefully.)

My dear friend Rachael, and fellow pod-club member is an avid meditation and yoga doer so I can't wait to hear what she thought about this week's pick. Find her thoughts over at her blog Just Me Actually, where reading about her being just her will inspire you to be more you. 

Please be careful with me...

lyrics provided by Jewel

I've known for a long time that I am a sensitive soul, or as some like to say "dramatic" and I've believed it's something I might need to change about myself. I get my feelings hurt really easily, I cry over commercials and even sitcoms or the occasional (read:every) Disney movie, more than once a song or watching dance makes me tear up, and I even sometimes realize I'm about to cry in situations where no one else seems affected - on the other hand I have a big temper that I have worked very hard over the years to control because yelling and nastiness is hurtful and can't really ever be taken back. I've learned that some people are completely okay with me and all my waterworks, and that others will hold it against me and believe that they can write me off because I'm "just overly sensitive."   But then tonight I ran across this article and I felt like I needed to share it because maybe there are other sensitive people out there who may also like to know that being sensitive actually means we are actually pretty awesome and that we should never ever feel the need to apologize or make excuses for who we are or what we feel.


What being highly sensitive is NOT:
1. Emotionally immature
2. Self-centered
3.Unpredictable and unstable emotions
4. Over-dependent
5. Demanding and attention thirsty

Characteristics of highly sensitive people:
1. Have great imagination
2. Have great intellectual abilities
3. Are creative
4. Have a curious mind
5. Are hard workers
6. Are good problem solvers
7. Are extremely conscious and compassionate
8. Are intuitive, caring, and spiritual
9. Have a strong sense of aesthetic awareness
10. Respect nature, art, and music greatly
11. Have profound and intense sensations
12. Can access important information from the unconscious mind
13. Have a depth of understanding and feelings
14. Are objective and can see the bigger picture

I learned a lot about myself while reading this article and it couldn't have come to me at a better time.

Pod Club: Healing Places

This week our podcast pick of the week comes to us from On Being, I've listened to a few of the older ones and really enjoyed them so I'm excited to listen to this new one this week and then share my thoughts on Friday. Would you care to join me? I wish you would. 

The Science of Healing Places

It's free and it's fun so jump on in Rachael and I would love to know your thoughts as well. 

Let's go back in time

Best Friend, blog writer extraordinaire, and general life inspiration Rachael has started this thing on her wonderful blog where she posts pages from her old diaries. And because I too have been a diary keeper my entire life I am going to copy her. Imitation is a form of flattery right? Hopefully, plus I think it will be fun to go back through the diaries I have and let you in on the journey as well. First off, here is a picture of the exterior of my first diary:

Diary #1

Pretty right? Very Victorian and proper - fitting for a young girl in her preteens. And now, here is the very first entry: (I know that I started keeping a diary before this but I don't know where those ones are...this is the first one in my possession.)

I loved cursive.

Dear Diary,
It's January 1, 1991. I got you for Christmas 1990. My Grandma and Grandpa gave you to me. I am eleven years old and in April I will be 12. Some of my goals this year are try to be nice to everyone, to try to keep keep my room clean, and to make my bed every morning. I'm reading Black Beaty right now and it's very good. I really like horses now. The book is kind of weird because it wrote by the horses point of view. Tomorrow we go back to school I can hardly wait to see my friends again!
See ya
Jill

I can tell you right now I failed at all three of those goals I set for myself. I was an 11 almost 12 year old girl who sometimes got left to babysit her younger brothers and sisters...I was not always nice to them and I'm assuming they would be a part of the "everyone". As far as keeping my room clean and making my bed every morning? That really is quite laughable, I probably failed that one by the very next day.

To tell you the truth, I just don't know.

Can the same be said for truth? Is the truth different from person to person? After listening to this podcast I've had to readjust and reexamine how I think about truth. Based on who you are, what you've come from and I think even what you want, the truth about any given subject can vary greatly from one person to the next. Then that raises the question does it even matter? Does it create problems if the truth for me is different from your truth?
I'm going to stray from our pod cast pick of the week and reference another podcast I listened to just yesterday from This American Life called Send a Message, in it there is a story about a man who finds tapes in his father's house after his father passed away. They were recordings of phone conversations the two of them had had for years and years after the parent's divorce. The man in the story always remembered that he had been a sort of advocate and protector for his mother, always standing up strong against his father. That was his truth, how he saw himself - however when he listened back to the tapes he discovered that he didn't sound nearly as forceful or protecting as he'd remembered himself being, in fact he often didn't say much - there were long pauses and subdued responses. Does that make what he'd thought about himself a lie? The truth for him at the time was that he was protecting his mom but I'm sure the truth for his dad would have been much different. Two people in the same situation, and their truths were far from the same.
Okay, back to Radiolab and our scheduled podcast of the week. In the first segment a photograph was discussed at length. Was it staged? No one seemed to have a good explanation for years and years experts went back and forth on whether or not it was a real or a fake. In the end it was decided that the photographer had come across this deserted road and decided to move cannonballs from the surrounding areas onto the road to attain this shot:

The Valley of the Shadow of Death by Roger Fenton 1855

Now, to me, I would have looked at those cannonballs on the road and said "yep it's faked." I mean look how spaced out they are, it's like they're marching in formation down the road to the next spot they're going to attack. But there was something said about this photograph that really stood out to me - is this photograph a lie if was seeking an emotional truth? The truth of how it felt for the people in this area at the time of this war? And that got me thinking to even simple photographs taken throughout someone's life, how many of them are really the truth of what they are feeling or going through? Aren't most photographs staged? We're told to smile, say cheese, and no matter how we are feeling at that particular moment all anyone will see when they look at it later is someone, or a group of people, who are pleased as punch to be blowing out candles, taking a hike, saying goodbye at the airport, carving pumpkins, leaving for college...etc...etc...etc...Looking back on those photographs the people in them will remember what they were feeling in that moment but one photograph could contain multiple truths in it depending on who is doing the looking.
Am I making sense? I think what I'm coming to is that truth maybe is not the same thing as fact. I was hollowed out in the second part of the podcast while listening to the facts about the "yellow rain" that fell in Laos during the Cold War. I don't really want to discuss it much because it seems to me as though there isn't a good explanation for what happened to those people during that time and it seems like something horrifying has been swept under the rug with an inadequate answer. The truth of what the Hmong were feeling and experiencing is not the truth that American scientists decided upon to be the facts. I sat on the bus listening to this interview and almost broke down in tears with the translator as she realized her truth was yet again going to be out-powered by a truth decided on by a country more powerful than hers.
Truth and Fact, are they one and the same? Or are facts the bare bone details with truth the ligaments, cartilage and tendons that hold them together - a little more flexible and movable? I don't know, I don't have the answers for you but hopefully you have some for yourself. I am now going to go check out what Rachael had to say on her very truthful blog Just Me Actually and I think you should do the same.

Obsessed Much?

I read this recently and loved it. Although I do have to admit that I have had it in my collection now for quite a while and always dismissed it because I thought the title and cover were a bit...uhm, lacking. However, everything has it's time and place so I believe I picked it up at exactly the right time. I think it was one of the first books that had lines I loved so much I underlined them, in pencil, so I could go back and love on them some more. It wasn't one of those books that I sat down and read all in one sitting but I think that made it even more delicious for me. I very rarely am able to draw out a reading experience for longer than a couple of days and then I am regretful at the end that I have to say goodbye to my new friends. Even still, I am sad that this book came to an end and that there is no chance of a follow up because not only would it take away some of the magic but, the author has died, so for her to write a second book would be quite magical after all.
If you run across this book somewhere, pick it up and read it. I hope you'll love it like I did.

Some favorite lines: (don't worry they won't ruin it for you)

• I much prefer whining to counting my blessings.  
• I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time. 
•  If I could believe I had a soul, all by myself, then I could listen to its tidings all by myself.
• This obsession with dignity can ruin your life if you let it.

 Four is a good sampling I believe. I tried starting another book after this one and haven't been able to read it, I just keep thinking about the characters in this one. I need to finish saying goodbye to them before I can allow new characters into my heart. Reading is a serious business for me.

 I may be one of the last people in America to watch this show but I had to come to it in my own time. I wasn't convinced it was a show I was going to like and then because it was so seemingly popular I dug my feet in even more. I like to be the discoverer of things, not the follower. Even so, there came a day in the past week that I needed something new to watch and the first season was on Netflix instant and so I started. And then I couldn't stop. (Luckily I didn't have to because the second season in on Hulu.) And then I started thinking and speaking to myself in their awesome accents and saying ridiculous phrases aloud like "it really is quite dreadful" when I accidentally spilled water all over. It also makes me wonder the same wonder I always have when watching period pieces...would I have been able to pull off all the fancy attire and a face with no make-up? (I mean assuming I was one of the fancy ladies otherwise it would be no make-up and drab attire.) And I've come to the conclusion I usually come to (assuming I was fancy - and it's all make believe so I can assume anything I want), I would want to always have long hair and a fancy hat because my face can be rather boyish and I would want no mistakes. Plus I would want to be British so that everything that came out of my mouth would sound interesting and sophisticated. I am almost finished with the second season and I've discovered today that the third season doesn't start again until January. What am I supposed to do until then?

Little Words

Have you watched the show What Would You Do? I really like it, but it also sort of scares me because it forces me to think about what I would do in the situations laid out. Would I speak up or shrink away hoping to not be noticed? I'm ashamed to admit, even to myself, that I don't think I'd be brave enough to speak up in most of the situations. And I feel like that makes me a bad human. Then yesterday on the bus I got the chance to test out that theory on a very small scale.
As usual I had my headphones in listening to a podcast, but even over the talking in my ear I could tell there was a commotion on the bus. The people around me were making faces at each other in general astonishment and disgust. So, because I'm curious and nosy I paused my podcast to find out what was happening. A couple rows ahead of me there was a man preaching about Jesus - he sounded like he was on a break from his place in a park screaming out over people's heads as they pass by, I walked by plenty of those people in Portland but really don't see them much here in Tri-Cities. He was being fairly loud and definitely annoying but I almost started my podcast again until I heard him start bashing on Mormons using all sorts of bad language in the process.
Now, I know that I no longer attend church or align myself with the religion but I have a lot of respect for it and have always been glad I was raised the way I was. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs but they should not be offensive about it so it was at that point that I decided to raise my voice to try to make it stop. I didn't say much, something along the lines of You should be careful with what you say, you might be offending someone. You're offending me. You should stop. After saying my piece other people spoke up also asking him to be quiet and to watch his language but if anything he got louder until the bus driver told him he needed to be quiet or he'd be kicked off the bus.
I know I didn't say much but even so my heart was pounding afterwards. I was glad I'd spoken up, and it gives me hope that should I be put in an even more difficult position in the future I'd have the courage to act out then as well.

As a matter of fact...

Happy Monday everyone and welcome to October! All September I kept saying "I just want it to stay warm through September, I'm not ready for fall yet." But now here it is October and I'm still not ready, luckily it's supposed to get up to 80 today so my short-sleeves and flip-flops can stay in heavy rotation.

Anyhow, back to the business of the day, it's  Monday which means you get to find out what our new Pod Club listen of the week is. Rachael and I were both excited to see a new podcast from Radiolab so it was easy to pick:

The Fact of the Matter 

It's never to late to join in on this adventure, we welcome you! As always, I highly encourage you to go over and see what is said at Just Me Actually since I often feels she says what I'm thinking better than I can.