12/14/12

I'm Alive Enough. Are you?

I stay pretty connected to my electronic devices. There is hardly a moment during any given day where I'm not listening to music or a podcast, catching up on shows via Hulu or Netflix, playing solitaire  checking Instagram....I don't text very often though and I'm rarely talking on the phone. I've wondered to  myself even before listening to this week's pod club pick if I should cut back on the amount of time I spend with my electronics...computer included. And I guess the answer for me is no, I feel pretty okay with the amount of time I spend with my devices and away from them as well. What I heard most in this podcast was that there needs to be times/places where phones/electronics are not allowed, most of those times/places had to do with family settings and I've got that under control. I also don't have my phone out during dance team, and it's used during teaching only to play the music I need to do the teaching. When I'm babysitting or at family dinner my phone is usually tucked away unless I'm taking pictures and I think that's acceptable. Do I sound like I'm justifying my electronic habit? Maybe I am, but I shouldn't have to. I've learned a lot of really great things listening to podcasts and heard a lot of things that have been insightful and mind-expanding; I've also calmed a lot of nerves, stopped panic-attacks, cheered myself up, and motivated myself listening to music.

Often times, especially lately, it's difficult for me to be alone with my own mind for company. I know what's in there and it's not necessarily that I'm trying to hide from it, it's just that sometimes I need a break. I'm in touch with my thoughts, my feelings, my opinions - maybe even at times too much - the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the pretty, the ugly...they're all in there and I give them all attention. But, for me to be able to live every day, move forward, be the person I know I want to be, I sometimes need to turn off all those things and I don't know about you but I think there is a sort of peace in that. I need to be able to find peace in listening to someone else talk or sing, or watch a show that makes me laugh. And my personal opinion is that these things actually help me feel more alive because they remind me to laugh, to think, to keep feeling, to keep growing. But I think it's all about finding balance, and for me I'm okay with the balance I have between electronics - books - dance - coaching - family - personal time, and until I feel otherwise I'm gonna keep on keepin on.

Would I feel "naked" if I left my phone at home accidentally? Probably, and maybe that's not a good sign but I'd also feel "naked" if I left home without my square ring on my left middle finger. Who's to say what's right or what's wrong? We have to be in charge of ourselves and keep on checking in with ourselves so that our habits don't wind up controlling us without us even knowing.

(now let's use our computers or phones to go check out what Rachael and Leah had to say about this week's pod club listen.)

1 comment:

Rachael said...

You are one of the most alive people I know, so I think you're doing just fine...but you know that already.